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Massage Today
August, 2014, Vol. 14, Issue 08

Avoiding Wasted Healing: The Cure for Visibility PTSD

By Sharon Desjarlais, CC and Michele McGrew

Jack is a soft-spoken spiritual teacher who helps people heal their hearts through acts of selfless compassion. An author and owner of a metaphysical bookstore, he's interviewed some of the leading healers and teachers of our time.

Yet as much as he longs to, there's one big thing stopping him from sharing his own wisdom with a wider audience. "I have a fear of being seen," he says.

Jack's struggling with a condition so common among therapists, we've named it Visibility PTSD. After coaching countless healers over the years, we believe it's the single biggest block that stands in the way of attracting clients, making money and fulfilling your highest spiritual calling.

Why is this so prominent among healers? Chances are, when you were a child, you weren't exactly celebrated for being different. Add to that the baggage you've brought with you as a healer who may have been persecuted in a past life (oh yeah, we're going there) and we can understand your compulsion to stay hidden from the public bulls-eye.

Yet sadly, if you continue to keep yourself a secret, people can't find you — or become your clients. That's what we call wasted healing. And all those people who don't get your help ultimately pay the price.

Here's the good news. Your business will always show you what's ready to be healed. And we've spent eight years developing and testing a healing technique to help with that: Elegant Alchemy. It's a simple yet powerful spiritual technology that dissolves the hidden blocks that are stopping you from being willing to be seen — so you can get your therapy out to a lot more deserving clients.

beach - Copyright – Stock Photo / Register Mark 5 Graceful Steps

Next time you feel yourself cringe at the thought of getting out there and being seen, use our Elegant Alchemy healing technique to dissolve your Visibility PTSD. Start by journaling your answer to this question: "If the fear of being seen was no longer important to me, what are the first three steps I'd take to grow my practice?"

Be sure to ask the question exactly the way you see it: "If the fear of being seen was no longer important to me..." We're usually so eager to feel fearless that we can slip into saying, "If I was no longer afraid of being seen..." But that thought can hold you back even more when you don't feel fearless. Rather than trying to make the fear go away, simply be willing to allow the fear to no longer be important to you. That's when you're able to "feel the fear...and do it anyway," as the sage advice goes.

Also, when you answer this question, do your best to name specific steps you can take action on. "I'd get out in the world in a big way" is a great idea, but it doesn't lead you to a next step. "I'd create a video of my three favorite yoga poses and put it on my website," is a tangible action step.

After you've journaled your answers to that first question, choose an area in your home or treatment room where you've got plenty of space. Then stand in the center of the room with your feet hip width apart. Keep your knees soft and balance yourself until you feel stable. Then take a few deep, cleansing breaths and relax even more deeply. Now, gently allow yourself to feel the fear of being seen. Give yourself permission to go deep knowing you're completely safe and protected. Notice what that fear looks like to you. What it feels like. What it sounds like. What it smells like. Even what it takes like. Bring all your senses into the experience.

Step 1

Stop the madness and take a step back. Once you've truly experienced the fear you've been brushing aside for a lifetime or more, silently count to three — and then take one giant step back. Feel yourself subtly disconnect from the pain of the fear you were just feeling. And notice it now in the space in front of you, where you were just standing.

Step 2

Realize that everything you see is a reflection of something you secretly believe about yourself. As you consider the fear from this slight distance, answer this powerful question: "That fear must mean I am________________________." Be willing to respond, out loud, with the first thought that pops into your head. Don't censor yourself or try to make sense of it. When you get an answer, follow up with this question: "If [what you just answered] is true, that must mean I am _____________________________." Keep asking and answering that question until you get to the core restriction. How will you know? You'll probably break out in a cold sweat. And you may even feel dizzy or light-headed, because your core restriction is the most frightening thing you can imagine. It's your deepest fear.

When I walked Jack through this process, his deepest fear was intense: "It would be good that I would be destroyed," he said in a low voice. Yet as disturbing as that thought was, I could feel the sacred tenderness he was giving himself by saying it out loud.

Step 3

Ask the wisest, most eternal part of you to help you forgive yourself for making up that belief. As a healer, you're probably well aware that what you experience day-to-day is the tip of the iceberg called YOU. At the same time, the wisest, most eternal part of you exists beyond of the time-space continuum, in the world of spirit and energy. And it's intimately connected to whatever you think of as God, Goddess, Holy Spirit, Universe, Presence or All That Is.

At this point in the Elegant Alchemy process, you're going to call that part of you forward to help you forgive yourself for making up the belief that your deepest fear is true. Because every block we ever perceive is born out of one single belief we mistakenly bought into eons ago: that we are alone and separate from Source. We subconsciously project that belief into our lives as fear, pain and discontent.

Now it's time to let that mistaken belief go. You do that by simply saying out loud: "Dear [your name for God, Goddess, All That Is], please help me forgive myself for making up the belief that ________________________________." Then complete that sentence with the core fear that came up in step 2.

Step 4

Affirm the Truth — the opposite of your belief. Once you've asked for help to forgive yourself, immediately answer this statement: "I know the Truth:________________________________." Then, without engaging your thinking mind, reach for the most expansive psychological or spiritual truth you're willing to believe in that moment. Your Truth may be: "I know that I am one with Source and I am always protected, every moment of every day." Or it may be as simple as, "I'm a good person and I've got an important message to share." Whatever your Truth is, the most important thing is that it flows from you naturally. And that it feels true to you.

When I was working with Jack, the atmosphere around us changed dramatically when he called on the wisest, most eternal part of him, which he called Presence: "I know the Truth," he said with a fierce strength in his voice. "I am Presence."

Step 5

Ask to be filled with peace and led to your best next step. Once you've claimed your Truth, look again at the space in front of you. This time, instead of seeing the fear, see your Truth. Again, engage all of your senses to notice what it looks like. What it feels like. What it sounds like. What it smells like. Even what it tastes like. Continuing to address the wisest, most eternal part of you, simply say: "Please fill me with your peace and lead me to my best next step."

Then you're going to pull it all together in a simple prayer that sounds something like this: "Dear Holy Spirit, please help me forgive myself for making up the belief that I ever could be rejected by anyone else. I know the Truth: I have a lot to share and there are people out there who are ready to hear my message. Please fill me with your peace. And lead me to my best next step."

Then, seeing that Truth projected in the space in front of you, take one giant step forward into it. And continue to breathe as your newly discovered Truth begins to reorganize your cellular structure. Jack Immediately noticed in the space in front of him a sense of expansive, grounded spaciousness. As he stepped into it, a deep sense of peace enveloped us.

Today, he's taking action on the steps he chose at the beginning of this process to ground his newfound freedom in reality. He's outlining a new book he's going to promote when he's traveling around the country teaching his unique form of selfless compassion. As I left him, he was relaxed and at ease with a gentle smile on his face. And he was eager to get started with the next phase of his teaching and healing.

Click here for more information about Sharon Desjarlais, CC.


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