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Massage Today
December, 2004, Vol. 04, Issue 12

Word Watchers: Putting Your Vocabulary on a Diet

By Cary Bayer

In this column, I have previously talked about the conscious use of affirmations to help you, as a massage therapist, expand the ways you think. This is vital and wise if you want to truly prosper.

After all, as Norman Vincent Peale, who taught the world how to think positively, said: "Change your thoughts and you change your world." It's just as wise, however, to change your speech. If you want to lose weight, watch what you eat; if you want to prosper, watch what you say. Think of this kind of conscious attention to your speech as "Word Watchers."

Speaking of eating, you've been told that you are what you eat. This explains why some people are hotdogs; others are hams; and still others, couch potatoes. If you've eaten out in Jamaican restaurants, you have, no doubt, also run across your share of "jerks."

Two thousand years ago, people asked Jesus what they should eat and what they should drink. His reply surprised them then, as it still does today: "...not what goes into the mouth defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man" (Matthew 15:11). If some of the following words come out of your mouth, isn't it time to stop letting your speech bring you down? Remember: What holds you back also holds back the number of massages you do - and that holds back the amount of money that you bring in.

I have been a life coach to dozens of massage therapists over the past few years and have heard them speak regularly in ways that are highly dis-empowering. But this is not just specific to massage therapists - the general population does it all the time. It just happens that massage therapists are, by nature, a great deal more sensitive than the average person, and they can correct their behavior more quickly and easily. (Also, as a massage therapist who helps people rejuvenate and come into greater balance, you have a greater responsibility to help people maintain a more conscious lifestyle.)

Fearing a layoff at her husband's job, a part-time massage therapist in a recent class of mine said that she was "waiting for the other shoe to drop." Another massage therapist started a sentence with the phrase, "With my luck..." - implying that since his is so bad, there is no chance his desires will ever be realized. Another called herself "a credit card junkie."

Whew! Can you see how talk like that sets your progress back big time? Someone who speaks this way repels money and prosperity. Who wants to be massaged by a junkie or someone waiting for shoes to drop? Your words are heard by the subconscious part of your mind and are taken literally, even if you speak them in an exaggerated or humorous way. Let me repeat that: Your words are taken literally by the subconscious part of your mind.

Don't get me wrong. I love humor more than the next guy - and I know first hand how valuable it is. I use it regularly in teaching, and I have worked as a professional comedy writer and comedian. But make sure that when you use humor, it's not to dis-empower yourself in a self-deprecating manner. Your words are also messages broadcast throughout the universe; make sure that the messages you send out are consistent with your higher Self, not your "lower" self.

The following expressions are from the lower self. If you speak in a similar way, I encourage you to eliminate those words from your vocabulary. You'll be glad you did.

  1. If he saw me like this, I'd just die. Don't ever give anyone else this kind of power. Can you see how ridiculous it is to invoke your death because of what you're wearing that day? Sure, you're exaggerating; however, your subconscious mind doesn't hear it that way. Here is a more empowering thought to plant in your subconscious mind: It's safe for me to be seen by everyone.
  2. It's too good to be true. When you speak these words, you sabotage your good. If something really great is about to happen to you, the thought that great things don't happen to you can prevent them from actually happening. I've seen people lose big contracts and job offers at the eleventh hour because of these kinds of doubts. Paul Simon said it beautifully: "The nearer your destination/the more you're slip slidin' away." Replace the negative speech with this affirmation: If it's really good, it must be true.
  3. Wouldn't you know...? Only use this expression if the thing you want us to know is something good, not something negative. Unfortunately, this expression is so pervasive in our culture that it's hard not to hear it regularly every week of your life. Don't let it slip into your speech patterns as well.
  4. She has hair (legs, breasts, etc.) I could kill for. Really? Well, just make sure that when you go on trial for murder, your lawyer uses the Hair Defense. I know that you never really mean this one either. So if you don't mean it, don't use it. Your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference.
  5. Life's a bitch and then you die. Wow! How can you enjoy the sweetness that life holds in store for you in each moment with such negative talk? How about planting the following thought instead: Life is rich and then you really live.
  6. I don't deserve... (to be treated so nicely/your gift, etc.). Speak like this and you can be certain that fewer people will extend generosity your way. If you don't think you deserve to be treated well, you won't be. Here's a more prosperous way of speaking: As an innocent child of God, I deserve a life of great abundance.

Click here for previous articles by Cary Bayer.


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